Community as an Antidote to Burnout
This month, we're discussing how you can sustainably ask for help and be part of community, as a means of supporting you, your learner, and your Gifted Guide work.
Hello Gifted Guides!
We’re so glad you’re here.
How are you doing?
Somehow, we’re at the end of September. For many of you, this will mean your learner’s school year is in full swing. As such, you may be starting to see the shine and novelty of the new school year wear off, giving way to advocacy concerns.
Maybe you’re noticing issues with classroom dynamics or appropriate challenge levels. Maybe you have concerns that accommodations aren’t being honored or aren’t working the way you and your learner’s educational team had hoped.
Maybe nothing in particular is wrong, but you feel yourself wanting to build more rapport with your learner’s educational team or other parents at school (or extracurricular activities), but you’re not sure how to go about doing that.
This month, we’re going to talk about the role of community in advocacy work. However, instead of focusing on who you can recruit to be part of your advocacy team or community, we’re going to explore how you can actively open yourself up to community.
We often hear from parents that advocacy is lonely, and parenting is lonely—even when there are others around who are willing or available to help. Why is this?
Why do we feel alone in a room of people? When we have an inbox of unreturned texts from friends and family we know want to be able to help and support us?
The answers to these questions are complex, but one place to start the conversation is vulnerability.
To respond to those text messages, we need to be vulnerable about what’s going on and the types of support we need. If we tell everyone we’re fine all the time, we’re not giving those who care about us an opportunity to show up for us and provide support.
But if we accept help, doesn’t that mean we have to give help? And how can we do that, when we’re already at our limits?
If you’re burnt out, how can you accept help, when you know you don’t have the capacity right now to offer help in return?
Ask for help anyway.
No, really.
Ask for help.
If you truly don’t need help in this moment. Offer help.
What do we mean by this? How can you do this in a practical way?
Let’s explore that.
Asking for Help and Offering Help in Ways that Won’t Make You Cringe
Asking for help from someone you don’t know very well, like a teacher, administrator, or other parent at school can be an intimidating and vulnerable experience. If you ask for help, does that show everyone else that you have no idea what you’re doing? Does everyone else know what they’re doing? Can they tell you have no clue? Are they judging you?
Everyone who is working to support, educate, and raise gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) learners is most likely trying their best, but none of us can do this important work alone.
As the landscapes of gifted and 2e education—and education more broadly—continue to evolve, it is hard for anyone, no matter their experience or expertise, to know everything all the time. We have to ask for help.
The nuances of a neurodivergent learner’s asynchronies and intensities often require an interdisciplinary approach—pulling on resources, skills, and expertise from one of more areas of experience. Because neurodivergence doesn’t begin and end with the school bell, supporting a learner’s neurodivergence typically requires a holistic approach—bridging divides between school, home, and other extracurricular experiences.
For all these reasons, asking for help and brainstorming with others is a key, foundational part of gifted and 2e advocacy and support. Asking for help is not a moment of defeat. Asking for help is a moment of opportunity and community.
We’ll say that again…
Asking for help is not a moment of defeat.
Asking for help is a moment of opportunity and community.
But how do you do this practically? What does asking for help (or offering help) look like in a day-to-day situation?
Let’s brainstorm!
You probably wish your schedule was a little easier to navigate or less stressful. That’s something almost everyone can relate to, so let’s start there.
Below are a few questions you can ask to help you build rapport or offer help/community to others:
When talking to your learner’s educator:
“We’ve been working on XYZ skill at home. One approach that seems to be helping is [insert approach]. I thought it might be helpful to share in case this can be applied in the classroom. If there’s anything we can do at home to support what you’re doing in the classroom, please let us know.”
“At home, I’ve been noting ABC concern. Have you noticed this in the classroom? Do you have any suggestions about how we can support our learner at home? Are there any strategies that you’ve noticed that help?”
“In the past LMNOP has been a challenge for our learner. We have a couple of strategies that sometimes help, but we’re still working on finding better approaches. I’d love to brainstorm with you to see how we can be on the same page at school and home.”
“Thank you for recommending that book series. My learner is loving it! I so appreciate you recognizing their advanced reading level and interest in this subject. This means a lot to both of us!”
When talking to other parents or caregivers at school:
“If you ever want to set up carpool to and from practice, let me know. I know we’re both busy, so maybe sharing the driving duties would take a little off our plates.”
“Your older child had this teacher before right? What was your experience with them? What’s the best way to send this teacher messages if I have a question – email or through the school portal?”
“Do you understand this new policy? I have concerns. What do you think about it?”
“Wow! These early morning practices are starting to get chilly. How about next week I’ll bring us coffee if you bring some snacks. That’ll make waiting for the kids a little more bearable!”
“If you ever need someone to drop off your learner after school or this extracurricular activity, just text me. It’s on my way. Glad to help out.”
“Thanks for offering to drive my learner to that activity last week. It really helped me out when I was running late from work. I really appreciate you!”
These are all just examples and suggestions. Customize them to fit your life, your needs, and your communication style.
We’re offering these phrases as a starting point, to show you that building rapport, asking for help, or offering help do not need to be herculean tasks. They can be small and casual.
Small actions can often be the most impactful because they are often more sustainable or more easily repeated or maintained than grand, involved gestures.
You don’t need to be best friends with another parent to share a snack while waiting for your kids. You don’t need to be best friends and deep confidantes to participate in carpool. You don’t have to agree with every assignment your learner’s teacher assigns in order to work together on figuring out what types of accommodations, acceleration, or other support would work for your learner.
If you show up as your genuine, curious, kind self, others are more likely to return that energy. From there, you can begin to work together as members of the same community.
While our examples mainly drew on some traditional school structures, these strategies and suggestions can be adapted and customized to fit your situation—whether related to an educational setting, your family, or any other communities you’re a part of.
Community as an Antidote to Burnout
Many will say that inconvenience or annoyance are the cost of community. In part, that is true. You sometimes have to do inconvenient things in support of your community members.
But community is also an antidote to burnout. We’re more likely to burnout if we feel we have to do everything perfectly and on our own. By practicing acts of community, we can help to prevent burnout. We can help to prevent the isolation that tends to amplify the effects of burnout.
Practicing vulnerability by asking for help and offering help as we build rapport with others will give us more tools to work with when we do find ourselves overwhelmed or burnt out.
Conclusion
As you move further into the school year, try to find ways to be of community, so you can begin to experience all the benefits of community. We often say advocacy is a team sport. Building rapport at the start of the school year and practicing asking for help can help you build your advocacy team and community even more.
As you work to be a Gifted Guide and to advocate and support your learners, know that the Davidson Institute is always here to support you how we can.
If you’re in one of our programs already, you know there are lots of resources for you to access via our private, member’s only website.
If you’re not currently participating in one of our programs, there is still a wealth of information and support available to you. Check out our Resource Library or our free resource guides or any of our other curated resources (like our Spotify and YouTube playlists or our Bookshop.org reading lists).
We are honored to be part of your advocacy community and wish you the best as you dive into further into the school year.
What’s New at the Davidson Institute?
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If you’re interested in joining the Young Scholars program, you can learn more and start your application today! Get started by visiting our How to Apply page!
Our next application deadline is October 10!
If you want to learn more about our program, explore our website, or register for our upcoming virtual Application Q&A. Our next Q&A is taking place November 3, at 11 am (Pacific). Does that time not work for you? Don’t worry. If you register for the event, you’ll receive a recording of the Q&A.
This Q&A event will answer all your application questions ahead of the last application deadline of 2025, which is November 21.
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Through our partnership with Northwestern University’s Center for Talent Development, throughout the year, we are able to offer low cost, remote testing for students in grades 3-10.
This testing can be used to apply to the Davidson Institute’s Young Scholars program, along with the Davidson Academy, Reno and Davidson Academy Online.
To learn more and register for a Fall 2025 test session, check out our Eligibility Assessment page today!
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We’ll see you next month. Stay well, Gifted Guides!