I'm Not Crying. You're Crying. Emotionally Regulating Back-to-School
The back-to-school transition can be hard for gifted and twice-exceptional learners, as well as their gifted guides. Here are some tips and strategies to make the transition easier.
Hello Gifted Guides!
We’re so glad you’re here!
How are you doing?
We’ve had a lot of new friends start reading this newsletter over the last few months, so if you haven’t already, please share what your experience supporting gifted learners has been like by filling out our Gifted in My Area Survey.
Your thoughts here will help us to better support you and the families in our programs through resources and programming that actually meets your needs.
So, has school started for you yet?
Whether you are a parent or guardian or you’re an educator or another type of professional working with gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) learners, the start of the school year is just as momentous for you as it is for your learner—just in different ways.
For gifted and 2e learners, school can be a complicated experience. Due to the asynchronous nature of neurodivergent profiles, growth and development—whether intellectual, academic, or social-emotional—likely will not progress along a linear path. This means, no matter how specialized a school or educational program is, there will likely be points where the fit isn’t perfect.
For gifted guides, school can be a complicated experience because not only are you working hard to support gifted and 2e learners, you’re also navigating myriad interpersonal relationships with others in order to support your learners.
This means, you’re likely encountering others who have ideas about what it means to support gifted and 2e learners—ideas which may not align with yours. On top of this, you’re managing the other obligations and responsibilities you have to your family and job.
All this is to say, the start of the school year can be uncertain and stressful for all parties—children, teens, adults; students, parents, educators. So, as you begin to make your back-to-school transition, it can be helpful if you’re practicing being thoughtful and deliberate both in the ways you’re supporting your learner and the ways you’re supporting yourself during this busy time.
Are you even supporting yourself?
Don’t worry. We won’t preach the importance of self-care. We won’t try to make you journal or meditate even once during back-to-school season.
When we talk about supporting yourself, we want you to think of this similarly to how you would support your learner. So often, we talk about how important scaffolding can be to learners, regardless of their learning style and needs. Breaking down tasks into more manageable and engaging pieces is a crucial part of learning and tackling tasks. This is true at any age.
So, how are you scaffolding back-to-school for yourself?
In the hustle and bustle of new back-to-school routines, is dinner becoming an especially dreaded task?
Maybe it is time to break out the crockpot and have some simple to prepare, easy to freeze dinners. This way you are nourished with little output or energy and time investment on your end.
Is paperwork piling up? Can you set aside 15 minutes at the start of your day, before things get too chaotic, to fire off a few email responses, slowly but surely chipping away at your paperwork mountain? Are you a night owl? Can you find those 15 minutes at night instead?
Are you having a hard time keeping track of where you’re going when, as you settle into a new routine? Is it time to set a few extra reminder alarms on your phone or to start color coding your to-do list with Post-It notes?
Is your list getting too long? Maybe it’s time to scaffold your to-do list. There are many different ways of doing this. One of our favorite strategies is to jot down three MUST DO tasks, three NEED TO DO tasks, and three NICE TO DO tasks. By making a shorter, more prioritized to-do list, it can be easier to approach the list without instant overwhelm or frustration.
Sometimes, even setting up a shared family calendar can help to scaffold things, as you can outsource the cognitive labor of keeping track of everyone else’s schedule and the reminders that may otherwise fall on you.
These are just a few examples. These might not fit your organizational style or needs. That’s ok. Find what works for you.
Thinking through these examples is just a practice to get you thinking about scaffolding opportunities in your own life. As an advocate and gifted guide, you probably spend a lot of time focused on all the ways you can support others. This can leave your own needs piling up, unattended.
When your needs are left unattended and you’re growing increasingly stressed and dysregulated, it will become harder and harder to show up for your learners. It is hard to help someone else feel grounded, regulated, and supported if you’re a burnt-out ball of stress.
Supporting your learner—even when you are a burnt-out ball of stress
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, no matter how much we scaffold or ask for help, you will still find yourself in a place of dysregulation or overwhelm. Unfortunately, the work of a gifted guide cannot always take place when we’re feeling rested, secure, and supported.
To help you help your learner while you may be feeling the weight and stress of back-to-school, here are some of our go-to back-to-school resources, from the Davidson Institute Resource Library, to help gifted and 2e learners navigate this transition more easily:
Gifted Perspectives Series: This is a series of videos on different gifted topics, many of which you are likely to encounter as your learner heads back to school. In particular, “Balancing Enrichment with After School Restraint Collapse” might be helpful if your learner seems especially dysregulated after school.
“Meeting Expectations – Your Gifted Child and Yourself” - Many times, frustrations during a transition come from everyone having different expectations—of the situation, of themselves, of others involved. Getting on the same page can be a powerful way to ease the back-to-school transition.
“Communication in the Gifted and Twice-Exceptional Family” -Neurodivergent communication may sometimes look different than you’d expect—even if you are neurodivergent yourself. This article shares tips for more effective communication.
“Why is My Gifted Child So Angry?” - We often talk about the intensities that can be part of gifted or 2e profiles. This article explores some common causes behind anger that your learner may express. If your learner is having a hard time this school year, this article may provide helpful insights.
As always, it’s important to point out that even if a resource or strategy is aimed at students or children, you can still use many of those strategies to support yourself during challenging moments.
Conclusion
We are wishing you and your gifted learners a wonderful, curious, and fulfilling school year. Remember, the team at the Davidson Institute is always here to support you and your learner as you travel the asynchronous ups and down of gifted education and advocacy.
When in doubt, if things start to feel hard and overwhelming, remember to slow down and go back to basics. The progress and goals you outlined after the May issue of Guiding Gifted may be useful as you do this.
Fall Testing Opportunities are OPEN!
Fall 2024 Eligibility Assessment test dates are OPEN! Through our partnership with Northwestern University’s Center for Talent Development, we are able to offer low cost, remote testing for students in grades 3-10.
This testing can be used to apply to the Davidson Institute’s Young Scholars program, along with the Davidson Academy, Reno and Davidson Academy Online.
If you’re interested, CLICK HERE to learn more and register! Space is limited and will fill up quickly!
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To learn more about our Young Scholars program, consider attending our next virtual Young Scholars Application Q&A on Tuesday, October 1, 2024 at 4:00 PM (Pacific). A recording of the Q&A will be available for one week to all those who register for this event.
If you’re interested in your learner joining us for the Davidson Institute’s 2025 summer programing, be sure to get your Young Scholar application in by November 1, 2024!
We’ll see you next month. Stay well, Gifted Guides!