Is the Novelty of Back-to-School Wearing Off? Time for Advocacy Conversations!

Are you starting to think you need to start advocating for some changes this school year? Let's talk about who to talk to--and when and how to productively have those conversations.

Hello Gifted Guides! 

We’re so glad you’re here! 

How are you doing?  

For many of the Guides reading this, school is in full swing—so much so that the novelty of the new school year may be starting to rub off, and you may find yourself needing to advocate for some changes. 

The start of the school year can be a hectic time, with lots of new things—classes, teachers, peers, meetings, clubs, etc.—and each of these new elements has a degree of novelty to it that can help to distract from pieces that may not be working as well as you’d like. However, once the dust of “back-to-school" starts to settle, and the new routine and expectations are clear, it may be easier to notice what’s not working. 

Once you notice things aren’t working as you’d like them to, your next concern is probably what to do about it. Who do you talk to? When do you talk to them? What do you say?  

There are a lot of moving pieces to supporting a gifted or twice-exceptional (2e) learner. And once you start thinking about all those different pieces and their impacts, it’s easy to start feeling overwhelmed. 

Let’s break this down and take each of those questions in turn. 

Who do you talk to?  

The specifics of who you should talk to in an advocacy situation will vary on the specifics of your situation—your advocacy style, your learner’s needs, the structure and flexibility of the educational environment, etc. 

So, while we cannot tell you exactly what to do in your situation, we can offer a helpful checklist for who to talk to about your advocacy goals and concerns.

Yourself

Before you start talking to others, it is usually helpful to check-in with yourself. How are you feeling about this situation? What is your goal for this situation? What are you stressed about? What do you need help or support with?  

Advocating for a learner can be stressful, and it can bring up a lot of big emotions. You’re working hard to make sure that your learner is supported and has what they need. You are also, perhaps, the only one in the conversation who is dedicated only to supporting your student. That can make the stakes feel even higher.  

For these reasons, it can be helpful to check-in with yourself before you start firing off emails or diving down research rabbit holes. Checking in to make sure you’re regulated and clear on your advocacy goals or concerns will help to make you a stronger and more effective advocate. 

Your Learner

Gifted Guides are often responsible for making decisions for and taking action on behalf of learners. This does not mean that your gifted or 2e learner doesn’t have their own thoughts and opinions. If you find yourself thinking it is time to advocate for your learner, it is likely helpful to ask them what they are thinking and feeling about the situation. 

Students may not be able to tell you the exact acceleration strategy or accommodation they need, but they can probably tell you what they like or dislike about a situation.  

Remember, broad questions like, “How is school going?” may be overwhelming for gifted and 2e learners. Asking what their favorite (or least favorite) thing about a specific class or teacher can be more effective. A more specific question can help focus your learner and provide you with more information. 

Pro tip: If your learner’s favorite response to questions is “I don’t know,” you might try responding with “If you did know, what do you think the answer would be?” People often respond, “I don’t know,” even if they do know, because they need more time to process and formulate an answer. Reframing the question as a curious exploration, with no right or wrong answer, can take some of the pressure off answering. 

Other Active Participants

Once you’ve checked in with yourself and your learner, you might need to reach out to others. This can be a frustrating, intimidating, or just plain exhausting process. As any Gifted Guide can likely attest, gifted advocacy often has no shortage of hoops to jump through.  

Many Gifted Guides have years of experience advocating and navigating red tape. This type of experience can make it seem like it would be easier to just go to the top with any questions or concerns you have. This is an understandable feeling: Just wanting to take the most direct path to resolution.  

Alas, in education especially, going directly to the top is rarely the most direct path to resolution. If your advocacy is school-focused, it is typically most effective to start your advocacy efforts with the classroom teacher in question. Going directly to a principal or coordinator may not be most effective, as that person will likely need to go back to the classroom teacher in order to discuss the situation, before being able to do anything else. 

Starting with the people most directly related to the situation and then moving on from there is typically the best, most effective starting point.  

Pro tip: When approaching someone about your advocacy goals, you can always include the comment, “If you’re not the right person to chat about this with, please let me know who else I can contact about this.” 

When do you talk to them? 

Once you figure out who to talk to, it can be hard to know when to talk to about your advocacy goals or concerns. One question that can help you gauge when the time is right to talk about your goals is, “Are all parties prepared to have this conversation?” 

For example, when you’re idling in the carpool lane and your learner’s teacher is helping them into the back seat of your car, it is probably not a great time to have a conversation with this teacher about grade acceleration or classroom accommodations.  

Instead, you might consider sending a short email asking the teacher for a time to meet to discuss your learner’s progress this year and how you can support the teacher’s efforts in the classroom.  

From there, you can set up a time where you both can be focused and prepared to meet. This can help you feel more confident in your advocacy, and it can help the person you’re meeting with be in a place where they can better hear, understand, and potentially act on your questions or concerns.  

If you do have a specific situation or concern you want to talk about, a brief email asking to set up a meeting is likely still a good step. You can say something as simple as, “After talking with my learner over the last few weeks, I have some questions (or concerns) about [insert specific situation or topic]. Can we set up a time for us to meet to discuss this further, so I can better understand how I can support my learner?” 

Scheduling a conversation, where all parties can prepare and be on the same page can be a great way to increase the impact and efficacy of those conversations.  

Please note: In this example, we talked about sending emails. The educators, organizers, parents, or other Gifted Guides you’re working to coordinate with may prefer to communicate in a different way. It can be helpful to check with the person you’re looking to connect with and ask their preferred mode of communication. This can help make sure you’re reaching out to them through an avenue they regularly check. Something as simple as, “Oh! I have a few questions I want to chat about with you. Does it work for you if I just email or is there a better way to reach out?” can help clarify communication preferences. 

As with all things advocacy-related, clear expectations can help make things go much smoother. 

Pro-tip: Don’t bottle everything up and wait for parent-teacher conferences or Back-To-School Night to talk. Those are usually events where educators are talking to many parents in rapid succession. It is not always the best time to do intensive advocacy work. If you do want to wait for one of these events, you can use them as an initial starting point and discuss setting up a follow-up meeting/conversation for a later time. 

What do you say? 

Once you find time to talk with related parties, what do you say? What are the magic words to get another parent, a teacher, a tester, a coach, etc. to understand your learner’s needs and your advocacy goals? 

The hard truth is, there are no magic words, and in some situations, the other person may not end up understanding or supporting your goals. While you can’t control how the other person will respond—even when you wish you could—you can control how you share your concerns and goals. 

Two things you want to focus on are: 

• Being specific. 

• Sharing examples. 

Being specific is probably the most important thing you can do as a Gifted Guide advocating for your learner. Being specific does not mean you need to give a detailed summary of your learner’s entire history. That’s often not necessary. However, you do want to be specific about what you’re asking for. 

For example, asking a school for “work that’s on my child’s level” is a broad request that can be interpreted in a variety of ways. If what you really mean is you want your child to do accelerated work in math, you want to focus on that.  

Another example would be asking a school for “accommodations for ADHD.” Many people are diagnosed with ADHD, but the specific presentation of ADHD and the specific supports needed will vary from person to person. So, it would likely be more effective to say something along the lines of, “My child has been diagnosed with ADHD. They tend to have trouble focusing if the room is too quiet (or too loud). Is it possible to put an accommodation in place where they can wear headphones during independent work time?”  

In this example of asking for ADHD accommodations, the parent was specific about the student’s need, and they provided an example of an accommodation they know to be helpful for this particular student. 

Continuing to think about the ADHD example above, maybe headphones aren’t an option for that classroom, or maybe the accommodation process is more involved than the inquiring parent initially thought. Even if the accommodation can’t be put in place immediately, exactly as initially proposed, our example parent and example teacher are at least on the same page and can now brainstorm together to find a path forward. 

All Gifted Guides are working hard to support their learners. If we can be more specific with each other and share examples of what we’re observing or what has or hasn’t been helpful, we can all be on the same page that much sooner. 

Conclusion 

As you explore gifted advocacy this fall, don’t forget to use the tools already in your Advocacy Toolbox. The Davidson Institute is one of those tools. Check out our free gifted resources guides for new strategies or approaches to try on your advocacy journey. Our Guides to Advocating for Gifted Children at School may be especially helpful. 

Fall Testing Opportunities are OPEN! 

Fall 2024 Eligibility Assessment test dates are OPEN! Through our partnership with Northwestern University’s Center for Talent Development, we are able to offer low cost, remote testing for students in grades 3-10.  

This testing can be used to apply to the Davidson Institute’s Young Scholars program, along with the Davidson Academy, Reno and Davidson Academy Online. 

If you’re interested,  CLICK HERE to learn more and register! Space is limited and will fill up quickly! 

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To learn more about our Young Scholars program, consider attending our next virtual Young Scholars Application Q&A on Tuesday, October 1, 2024 at 4:00 PM (Pacific). A recording of the Q&A will be available for one week to all those who register for this event. 

Summer 2025

If you’re interested in your learner joining us for the Davidson Institute’s 2025 summer programing, be sure to get your Young Scholar application in by November 1, 2024! 

We want to hear from you!

If you haven’t already, please share what your experience supporting gifted learners has been like by filling out our Gifted in My Area Survey.  

Your thoughts here will help us to better support you and the families in our programs through resources and programming that actually meets your needs. 

We’ll see you next month. Stay well, Gifted Guides!