Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, What's the Best Advocacy Approach of Them All?

This month, we continue our discussion of the role of imagination in advocacy. If you had a magic wand, what would you do?

Hello Gifted Guides! 

We’re so glad you’re here! 

How are you doing?  

We ask this every month, but we really do want to know. As we grow Guiding Gifted, we want to hear from you! Tell us what your experience supporting gifted learners has been like by filling out our Gifted in My Area Survey. Your responses will help to inform our work as we continue to support the families of gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) learners. 

Last month, we talked about the role of imagination in being a gifted guide and in doing the work of advocating for gifted and 2e learners. In the Gifted in My Area Survey (linked above), one of the questions we ask is: 

 If you had a magic wand, what are the top three needs of the gifted and 2e community that you would meet? How would you ideally like to see these three needs be met? 

Through this question, again, we’re focusing on imagination. Why is that?  

Certainly, there is enough work in front each of us that there isn’t time to daydream about magic wands and idealized scenarios, right? 

Of course there is!

Gifted and 2e advocacy will take exactly as much time and energy as you give it. Gifted and 2e advocacy, much like parenting and teaching, often does not have a clear end point; it is an ongoing process as the strengths, challenges, and needs of your learner change and evolve.  

Everyone reading this has a long to-do list of things to get done. Looking at that list, it might seem like taking time out to consider “what if” is not the most effective use of your time.  

However, it is our hope that our Magic Wand Question will help you to tackle your advocacy goals more efficiently, leading you to more productive outcomes, which will hopefully provide you and your gifted and 2e learners more support. Afterall, advocacy is the act of imagining a better world or scenario and working toward that better situation. So, let’s build on at spark of imagination even further. 

But I already know what my goal is. Why imagine something else? 

Last month, we talked about how “what if” thinking can keep us stuck, unable to move forward in our advocacy, due to worry or negative thought cycles.  

This month, we want to look at the other side of the “what if” coin.  

Often, gifted guides will get stuck thinking that there is only one path forward for supporting their gifted or 2e learner. This can make it seem like everything depends on one meeting, one application, one deadline, etc. That is a lot of pressure to put on yourself. This type of thinking can also land us smack in the middle of a scarcity mindset. 

When we think everything depends on ONE meeting, ONE application, ONE deadline, or ONE person’s opinion or decision, it can start to seem like our options are extremely limited. This can make it hard to see other opportunities or options, because we’ve been convinced—by ourselves and others—that there is only one path, only one right way to do this thing.  

When we feel limited in this way, we can find ourselves dealing with tough emotions like resentment, shame, disappointment, frustration, and distrust. We may be feeling disappointed and frustrated with the organization, application, or process we’re dealing with. We might feel resentment toward other parents, teachers, or professionals who we feel have understood and maybe even profited from an unclear or unfair process. Maybe we’re feeling shame because we feel like we weren’t good, fast, or connected enough to make this opportunity happen the way we had hoped. In the end, we can even feel distrust, and this can be directed at ourselves, other parents, organizations, etc. This distrust can lead to even bigger feelings of loneliness or isolation—like we and our learners don’t quite belong any one place and can’t find resources that fit us. 

Over time, the more often we find ourselves in these difficult situations, the more these hard feelings will amplify themselves. Eventually, we are likely to start feeling like we’re fighting a losing battle that is unfair and impossible to navigate. 

When we feel like there isn’t enough to go around or enough opportunity, we stop talking to others about our goals and support needs. This impacts our ability to be in community with others who have similar experiences and to learn from and with them. This can lead to us feeling alone and hopeless. Needless to say, this is a hard place to be, yet it is a place that many gifted guides find themselves. 

So often, the parents and teachers we work with report feeling just like this—like no one understands what they’re going through, no one understands the needs of their learner, and there are no options available to improve the situation. Parents often share that they feel like there is no way to support their child without spending thousands of dollars on a singular experience, and that’s even if they can get into the hyper-competitive programming that is often marketed toward gifted learners. They also express that a hyper-competitive or high output environment is perhaps not right for their specific child, but it seems to be the only thing that’s out there.  

These accounts all set up the gifted guide and their learners to try and conform to a mold that is not meant for them. But, with a scarcity mindset, it can seem like conforming to a hyper-competitive, high-output, and/or expensive mold is the only choice. If not that, then what is the answer for supporting your gifted learner? If this is what people are saying is “right” for gifted students, then shouldn’t this be what you’re doing too? 

You guessed it: Not necessarily. 

As we’ve said before, if you’ve met one gifted student, you’ve met exactly one gifted student. Every learner’s needs and interests will be different and unique to them—even if their profile or interests are similar to those of other learners. 

Employing the Magic Wand Question can help to refocus you on what you, your learner, your family, your school, your staff, etc. wants and needs out of an opportunity or advocacy situation. By removing the strictures of the real world and using a little bit of magical thinking, you can better define your goals and better understand the types of supports or situations you’re actually needing and looking for. 

Let’s talk about how this question can help focus you, instead of adding more to your plate. 

If you had a magic wand, what would you change about your situation? Your learner’s situation? 

When we consider what we would do if we had a magic wand, the whole world opens up to us. Suddenly, we’re not in a panic to log into the park district registration system at 9 a.m. exactly, so we can register our child for swim class before the class books up. With a magic wand, the possibilities are endless. At its core, the magic wand helps us to see the big picture and to access out of the box thinking more easily. 

For example, if you are finding yourself frustrated or overwhelmed about making summer plans for your child or about school choice or advocacy next year, take a few moments to consider: If I had a magic wand, what would I want out of this situation? 

You don’t have to worry about which summer camps are closed for registration or which school application deadlines have slipped by. Just focus on what your ideal situation would be. 

As you do this, you’ll probably start thinking of the types of environments, activities, output expectations, pathways to future opportunities, etc. that you want to get out of this situation you’re pursuing. 

From here, you can make a list of what you’re looking for, and you can start to look for and find opportunities that align (or mostly align) with your wish list. You can check out the Davidson Institute Resource Library to see which resources might be useful as you explore your newly (re)defined goal.

For example, our Online Program Comparison Charts might make it easier for you to compare and contrast programs—seeing which align with your wish list and which don’t. We have these charts for math, language arts, foreign language, social science/humanities, science, and coding.

You can also tap into local gifted and 2e communities to learn more about programs or activities that might be a fit for your learner.  

By exploring your magic wand list, you might discover that the summer camp, science class, school, etc. that everyone else seems to be attending isn’t actually the best fit for your student. Or, you might find that these activities are actually a fit. Either way, you are now approaching these opportunities from a more grounded place—knowing that you are pursuing these options not because it is what you are “supposed to do” if you want to support your gifted learner. Instead, you are showing up authentically, making decisions and forming connections based on what is actually a fit for you and your learner.  

This shift in mindset can help you move from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset. In making this move, you will be better positioned to find community that is supportive and responsive to your situation and needs—as opposed to competitive, secretive, and focused on vying for only a few sacred resources. 

As you all know, the gifted and 2e communities are small. It is easy to see the amount of need within these communities and assume there is not enough to go around. However, since no two learners are exactly alike, needs and interests are so varied that there are more resources and opportunities within these communities than we sometimes realize. Sometimes, we just need to step back and see that our path looks different than what seems to be the default path. Sometimes, we just need some magical thinking or creativity to brainstorm and reimagine our options. 

As a gifted guide, you know that many educational and talent development paths are not created with gifted and 2e learners in mind. Supporting gifted and 2e learners often means brainstorming unexpected, out of the box ideas and adjusting or changing course along the way. 

When you start to feel your advocacy situation getting too small or limited, reach into your advocacy toolkit and find your magic wand. Taking a few minutes to ask yourself and/or your student how you’d change the situation if you had a magic wand (and could do whatever you wanted) can open up a whole new world of possibility and potential.  

You and your learners deserve to explore and enjoy the paths that fit you, instead of feeling pressured to meet a standard that does not. Wherever you are in your gifted guide journey, know you are not alone. We are here to support you as you support your learners.  

Thanks for reading and subscribing. If you’re like even more curated resources from the Davidson Institute, click here. To learn more about our Young Scholars program, consider attending our next virtual Young Scholars Application Q&A on Monday, July 8, at 4 pm (Pacific). 

Don’t forget to tell us what your experience supporting gifted learners has been like by filling out our Gifted in My Area Survey. 

We’ll see you next month. Stay well, Gifted Guides!