New Advocacy Goals, Who's This? What To Do When Advocacy Goals From the Start of the School Year Don't Work at the End of the Year.
You and your learner have probably changed quite a lot during the school year. If it's time to change up your advocacy strategies and goals, let's explore how to do that!
Hello Gifted Guides!
We’re so glad you’re here.
How are you doing?
As many Gifted Guides in the U.S. are preparing for the end of the school year and the start of summer vacation, we thought now might be a good time to talk about the power of transitions.
Often, when discussing transitions within the context of gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) learners, we’re often focused on strategies for moving from a preferred task to a non-preferred task. However, the transition from known to unknown can be just as tricky and challenging.
When we’re working with our learners, we might navigate these transitions with strategies related to growth mindset. When met with resistance, we might explore strategies related to perfectionism or anxiety or even pervasive drive for autonomy (PDA). However, sometimes, the answer is as simple as our learner having outgrown the strategy or activity in question.
But what do you do to support yourself through transitions from the known to unknown? What happens when you’ve outgrown your go-to advocacy strategies?
For many Gifted Guides, advocacy can seem like a closed path—there is one “correct” path forward, one path to “success.” With just one path forward to success, there would seem to be an overwhelming opportunity for failure. If one set of decisions and actions is correct and everything else is wrong, the odds don’t seem to be in favor of us succeeding. That’s exactly how many of us feel as we navigate our advocacy work.
But what if one path can be “correct” without other paths automatically being labeled as “wrong”? What if one path is simply more familiar than others?
Sometimes, advocacy goals can become misaligned with advocacy needs. Sometimes, Gifted Guides are so eager and focused on making sure that their learners are ok and successful (and rightfully so), that they may not notice that their original advocacy plan no longer meets their learner’s needs—or their needs as a Guide, or the larger needs of a family or classroom.
This is ok, and this kind of change and evolution is actually a natural process of any advocacy or learning experience. It is not uncommon to get so focused on a goal that you don’t necessarily notice when it is time to change things up.
So how do you know if you’re stuck or if you’re making progress?
Of course, you will know the realities and conditions of your situation better than anyone else. So, trust your gut and the information you have in front of you and are actively experiencing.
That said, here are a few strategies to “gut check” when you’re on the right path and when you’re stuck on a path that’s not serving you and your learner.
What is the role of “supposed to” in your situation?
That is, are you doing said activity or pursuing said goal only because you feel like you are “supposed to be doing this”?
When it comes to parenting, teaching, and simply existing in the world, there are endless opinions on how to “do it right”--whatever it may be.
As a result, it is not uncommon to find yourself doing something, simply because you were told, or have come to believe, it’s just the thing you’re supposed to do next.
So, if you and/or your learner are feeling a lot of resistance, resentment, or reluctance toward a task or activity, try asking yourself the following questions?
Why am I doing this?
Can I name 3 ways this task/activity is helping to move me closer to my goals? If so, what are the ways?
Do I have an obligation (real or perceived) to continue with this task/activity?
If you look at this list of questions and think they are all mostly asking the same question, you’re right. They are. But we encourage you to answer all three questions anyway.
Why?
Sometimes, it takes a minute for us figure out how we’re really feeling, and then, it can take us a little time to be able to articulate that feeling.
Have you ever asked your learner a question, just to be met with “I don’t know”? We will often say, “I don’t know,” when we really just need more time to process and reflect.
Because of the nature of newsletters, we aren’t with you right now to hold space while you think through your answers and feelings. If we ask just one question, you might read it and keep going, without pausing to reflect.
Let the three questions slow you down. Let the three questions give you time to reflect and process.
As you process and reflect, try to be as specific as possible. For example, the question really isn’t necessarily, “Why is my child in a math enrichment class?” It is maybe “Why is my child in this specific math class on Tuesdays, which is already my busiest day of the week?”
In that example, you have your child enrolled in this math class because they like math or need the extra support. In theory, it is moving you toward your goal of supporting your child’s growth and passion for math. However, the obligation of fitting one more thing in on your busy Tuesday nights may be where this activity is no longer aligned with your goals and needs.
What then?
What if “supposed to” doesn’t look just one way?
Continuing to use our Tuesday math class example, let’s explore what to do when this class isn’t working for your learner or family, but taking an enrichment math class is still key to your advocacy goals.
We often talk about how supporting gifted and 2e learners looks different for everyone. It is not one size fits all. Still, within your community, there are probably a few things that a lot of the other gifted/2e kids are doing. Maybe a lot of them are enrolled in a specific class or participate in a particular club, or they all seem to be going off to the same summer camp.
This is not uncommon. When you are part of a community or group, you’ll often find that folks may be engaging in similar activities. That doesn’t mean those are the only activities you are allowed to participate in.
More often than not, someone will say they’re doing an activity, and someone else will say, “That sounds good. Maybe I’ll join,” and then, the word spreads from there.
Why do we do this?
There are many possible reasons. Here are a few common ones:
We want to be in community with people we know and like.
New experiences can be less intimidating if you know someone else who will be doing this activity with you.
Joining an activity can be easier than researching, finding, and vetting a new activity on your own.
If you do activities with friends/people you know, you might be able to benefit from a group registration discount, a carpool arrangement, or another community-based, reciprocal benefit.
Note that NONE of the reasons listed above are “because everyone else is smarter and better than you, so you should trust their judgement over yours.”
Think about that!
Many times, when we do something we feel like we’re supposed to do, it is really because we’re looking for an opportunity to be in community with those around us. We want to be less alone. We want to be seen and understood. We want someone to witness our journey, our efforts, and our successes.
This is true for our learners and for us as Gifted Guides. Social dynamics of activities are often a focus when it comes to our learners. However, these social dynamics are at play for adults as well.
And when we can better name what does and does not work for us in a task/activity, we can better integrate experiences in our life that more effectively nourish us and move us closer to our goals.
But some things will just be an obligation, right? We can’t just not do things we need to do!
Sure. Not everything we do will check all the boxes to both nourish us—socially, academically, intellectually—and move us closer to our advocacy goals. Sometimes, the Tuesday night math class is really, truly the only option.
In those moments, we will each have to determine for ourselves, and in conversation with our learners, if it’s worth being a little overscheduled (and maybe cranky) on Tuesdays for the duration of this class, or if it is better to pause to wait for a class that better fits our schedule.
And it really is a choice. Using our ongoing math example, learning math does not hinge on one class. Math can be learned and explored in different ways, at different times. Does one particular class make it possible to do the next class in this particular sequence in Fall, like your learner wants? Maybe. And maybe that’s reason enough to try and make this one specific class work. However, the content of the class will be accessible in other ways, at other times. They just might not be ways you had previously considered.
The ultimate point of this issue and the questions we’ve asked you along the way is just to help you more deeply consider what is right for you. Sometimes, that will be the overscheduled Tuesday night schedule. Sometimes, it will be firing up the Google machine and turning to different discussions or Facebook groups or forums to explore what alternative options might look like.
These are decisions you, your learner, and your advocacy team can talk through and make together. The answer may be different each time. But having these conversations and asking yourself these questions can help you to better align your advocacy efforts with your advocacy goals.
Conclusion
As you start to look toward the end of the school year and think more immediately about summer plans, remember to advocate for your learner holistically. What impacts your learner will impact you, your family, your classroom, etc. Just because you’re doing what you’ve always done, doesn’t mean you need to keep doing it that way. Something that worked for you and your learner at the start of the school year may not be what you need now. Even what worked over Spring Break may not be the best fit now.
That’s the goal of advocacy, right? That our goals change and evolve with our learner’s needs and with the skills and resources we find and develop along the way.
So, if your efforts and energy need to change paths, that’s just about as far from failure as you can get! Recognizing it’s time to change things up is the mark of a thoughtful, attentive, creative, and resilient Gifted Guide. That’s you!
And the good news is that you don’t have to navigate these changes and different paths on your own. Your Guiding Gifted and Davidson Institute community is here for you!
We see how hard you’re working, and it’s an honor to be in community with you as we all work to support the gifted and 2e learners in our lives. Remember, through the ups and downs of your advocacy work, you’re never alone. The Guiding Gifted and Davidson community are here to support you. That isn’t changing!
What’s New at the Davidson Institute?
Apply to Young Scholars! 2025 Application Open Now!
If you’re interested in joining the Young Scholars program, you can learn more and start your application today! Get started by visiting our How to Apply page!
Testing Opportunities – JOIN THE FALL WAITLIST
Through our partnership with Northwestern University’s Center for Talent Development, throughout the year, we are able to offer low cost, remote testing for students in grades 3-10.
This testing can be used to apply to the Davidson Institute’s Young Scholars program, along with the Davidson Academy, Reno and Davidson Academy Online.
Spring test dates are full and closed to registration, but to be the first to learn about Fall test dates, join the Fall 2025 waitlist.
To learn more and join the Fall 2025 waitlist, check out our Eligibility Assessment page today!
More Ways to Connect with Davidson...
Thanks for reading and subscribing. If you’d like even more curated resources from the Davidson Institute, click here. You can also sign up for our e-News Update by clicking here.
If you haven’t already, please share what your experience supporting gifted learners has been like by filling out our Gifted in My Area Survey.
Your thoughts here will help us to better support you and the families in our programs through resources and programming that actually meets your needs.
We’ll see you next month. Stay well, Gifted Guides!