Tis the Season for Joyous Accommodations!

Even things we are looking forward to and enjoy can result in overstimulation and dysregulation. Let's talk about what accommodations for your joy can look like.

Hello Gifted Guides!

We’re so glad you’re here!

How are you doing?

Has it been a long year for you? Or has time flown by?

No matter your perspective, we want to take some time to celebrate you and all you’ve accomplished this year.

Sometimes, it is easy to rush through the end of the year, just trying to get to a winter break or those amazing holiday foods that you wait for all year. Many are feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and in desperate need of putting up an email away message.

Sometimes, it’s hard to feel celebratory or happy when things in the world feel hard or uncertain. And if it’s already dark at 4 pm, why not just curl up under a blanket and block out the rest of the world?

All of these feelings—and anything else you might be feeling—are valid. This can be a hard, stressful, overwhelming time of year. And these types of feelings can seem at odds with the external messaging we’re surrounded, which is encouraging us to feel happy and celebratory or pressuring us to reinvent ourselves when the calendar rolls over into a new year.

The hard things don’t stop just because you’ve been invited to a delicious cookie exchange. The hard things don’t stop just because the school calendar says it’s winter break.

So, what do you do?

How do you hold space for your feelings and the hard things you might be navigating, while also finding some joy in whichever holidays you may be celebrating this season?

Big feelings and joy are NOT mutually exclusive.

When we discuss gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) profiles, conversations about big feelings, intensities, and overexcitabilities are often not far behind. Big feelings, intensities, and overexcitabilities are often discussed in a context of feeling or doing “too much.” These discussions often get overly simplified and end with the idea that we all need to focus more on practicing regulating our nervous systems and emotions.

However, you can’t simply regulate yourself out of your feelings—neither can your students. Sometimes, the joy and excitement of the holidays and celebrations are the root of the intense, big feelings we’re grappling with. Sometimes, the overstimulation a student is struggling with is stemming from an activity or experience they’re really enjoying.

The same can be true for you.

Your stress, anxiety, or other big feelings may be stemming from activities, encounters, and festivities that you’re genuinely looking forward to or know you will enjoy. Despite looking forward to an experience you’re likely to enjoy, you might still find yourself feeling some kind of dread, overwhelm, or overstimulation about the experience.

In these moments, it can be helpful to remember that big feelings are neutral—they are not good or bad, they just are. You don’t have to eliminate big feelings. Managing and navigating big feelings does not need to be code for “resolving or stopping big feelings.”

Joy has support needs too.

When we talk about accommodations or support needs, it is usually within the context of helping a student progress through or manage a non-preferred task or environment.

We have plans for scaffolding tasks and assignments with heavy executive function requirements. We have strategies to make transitions from preferred to non-preferred tasks easier to navigate. We have snacks and water bottles and rest periods to help us when we’re feeling hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (H.A.L.T.). We have fidget toys and movement breaks when we are feeling restless, bored, or antsy. We have headphones for when things are too quiet or too loud.

The examples above are all aimed at making a difficult or challenging situation easier to endure and move through.

But what happens when the situation is AMAZING?! What happens when the situation is the most fun and something we’ve been really looking forward to?

Certainly, we don’t need supports or accommodations to move through these moments, right?

That might not be true. Your joy and happiness, and that of your gifted or 2e child, might need a little extra support as well.

Intensities and overexcitabilities don’t only happen with things we don’t like. Research shows us that gifted and 2e brains “seem to process all information through an emotional filter.”

This emotional filter is not specific to information the gifted or 2e brain doesn’t like. The gifted and 2e brain processing information through an emotional filter impacts the ways in which gifted and 2e individuals experience the world. Not only is it likely that hard feelings are more intense, positive emotions are likely more intense as well.

So, your gifted or 2e student (or yourself) may experience the joy of the holidays more intensely than others. The high of opening presents or going to parties or seeing loved ones may be higher highs, and when the festivities are done, that post-holiday low may be lower for gifted and 2e individuals.

While many of us are well-equipped to support and accommodate intense emotional lows, it can also be helpful to think of ways to support the intense emotional highs.

The good news is you can probably use many of the same strategies and tools already in your advocacy toolbox.

What do joy’s supports look like?

As with any accommodation, what works for one person will not work for everyone. It is important to consider what makes your student (or yourself) feel grounded and secure.

If you know that too much caffeine or too much sugar results in feeling anxious or dysregulated, maybe you make a note to snack a little bit on veggie trays, as well as cookies, at holiday festivities, or make sure you have a protein-filled snack before your outing.

If socializing is draining, maybe plan for some cozy, restful recharge time after (and maybe even before) your celebrations.

Are you or your child sensitive to environmental factors, such as temperature and noise?

Can you bring noise reducing or canceling headphones with you? Can you dress in layers? Can you ditch the itchy wool sweater for something you’ll feel more comfortable in?

Even if your favorite relative made that sweater for you, it’s probably more important that you’re comfortable and able to enjoy visiting and celebrating with your loved ones than it is that you wear a sweater that makes you feel uncomfortable and overstimulated.

Over the next few weeks, your “normal” routine will probably experience a number of deviations. Think about what parts of your routine you need to feel like your best self and see where you can fit those into your holiday plans.

As calendars start to fill up, it is easy to assume we need to drop “unimportant things” to make room for other obligations. All too often those “unimportant things” look like your sleep, nutrition, and hobbies. While there are certainly excellent reasons to change your routine on special occasions, just make sure you’re taking care of yourself as well:

• Take the nap you’ve been daydreaming about.

• Steal a quiet-ish 15-30 minutes to read a chapter of your book or watch your comfort show.

• Have a glass of water in between servings of rich, delicious foods and drinks.

• When you go sneak a few more cookies, maybe snag a baby carrot (or three) out the fridge.

• If you can’t fit in your regular workout, take a walk or have a dance party with loved ones. Moving your body can look many different ways!

There are lots of small—but impactful—ways that you can accommodate yourself and your gifted and 2e learners so that your holiday joy is an even more joyful experience. Being mindful of the little things that help you and your student feel better on a day-to-day basis will help you enjoy your holidays all the more.

Conclusion

We see how hard you’re working, and it’s an honor to be in community with you as we all work to support the gifted and 2e learners in our lives. Remember, through the ups and downs of your advocacy work, you’re never alone. The Guiding Gifted and Davidson community are here to support you.

We hope you and your loved ones have a wonderful holiday season full of asynchronous joy!

Testing Opportunities

Through our partnership with Northwestern University’s Center for Talent Development, throughout the year, we are able to offer low cost, remote testing for students in grades 3-10.

This testing can be used to apply to the Davidson Institute’s Young Scholars program, along with the Davidson Academy, Reno and Davidson Academy Online.

There are no additional 2024 test dates available. CLICK HERE to join the 2025 testing waitlist. By joining the waitlist, you’ll be notified when 2025 testing dates open.

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We’ll see you next month. Stay well, Gifted Guides!