What If I Don't Want To Be Grateful?!
What do you do when you are looking forward to holiday celebrations, but you're also feeling frustrated with your advocacy? Let's talk about that!
Hello Gifted Guides!
We’re so glad you’re here!
How are you doing?
We know it can be a busy and emotional time of year for many families. As we talked about last month, there are often different types of gatherings or celebrations this time of year. While this can be something to look forward to and can provide a a warm and fuzzy sense of togetherness and joy, we also know that’s not the case for everyone.
Sometimes, when everyone else is celebrating, the challenges you and your family are experiencing can seem magnified. This can be frustrating and overwhelming. However, it’s not uncommon, and you’re not alone.
The struggles and stresses of gifted or twice-exceptional (2e) advocacy won’t disappear because the calendar says it’s a holiday. In fact, this can be an especially difficult time of year for advocacy efforts, simply because schedules are often altered, and meeting times are less available in many cases.
Maybe you feel like you’re just white-knuckling it to the next school break, where you won’t be dreading an “end of day report” or worrying about whether or not accommodations were implemented appropriately.
But when you get to the next school break, maybe you’re juggling childcare and your work schedule and screentime and sibling arguments.
All of these factors—and so many more that are individual to each Gifted Guide—can make being “excited” for the holidays a challenge. It can be hard to feel thankful or joyful when each activity or celebration is starting to feel like just one more obligation you need to navigate. Supporting your learner through these moments can also be difficult—especially if you’re around family or friends who might not fully understand or appreciate your learner’s profiles and needs.
Last month, we talked about how to adjust your celebrations and traditions to fit the needs of you and your learner. This month, we’ll be talking about how to build gratitude—even when things seem overwhelming, frustrating, isolating, and not always so gratitude-worthy.
Look at the calendar. Look in the mirror.
One of the hardest things about being a Gifted Guide is that gifted and 2e advocacy is often slow work. Sometimes, there are quick resolutions to advocacy efforts, but as many of you know all too well, that’s not usually the case.
Because this work is slow, it’s often hard to measure or even recognize the progress you and your learner have been making.
So, in our efforts to build gratitude this month, instead of asking you to count your blessings or to think of those less fortunate, let’s look at the calendar.
Where were you in January? Where was your learner in January? How have things changed for both of you since then?
Maybe some moments of growth and progress have easily jumped out to you. Wonderful!
Maybe you’re thinking back to January and thinking that everything is the same, or maybe even worse than it was then. That’s a fair response too. Maybe that’s exactly the case.
Let’s keep digging.
Look in the mirror. (Or just think about looking in the mirror—we won’t know!) What have you gotten through this year?
Even if your overall situation seems the same or more challenging than it was at the start of the year, you are not the same person you were on January 1.
You are a person who has learned and grown and experienced almost an entire calendar year. You have changed—even if it is incrementally. Don’t believe us?
Think about that TikTok you saw that changed the way you approached cleaning or that gave you that yummy recipe that’s been on regular meal rotation ever since. Think about that book you read that made you smile...or cry. Or maybe this was the year that you finally decided it was ok to stop reading a book (DNF – did not finish) if you’re not enjoying it. (It IS ok to stop reading if you don’t like the book. That’s true.)
Think about that special moment you had with your learner. Maybe it was a quiet snuggle after a long day or a big fight. Maybe it was jumping up and down in celebration when they finally understood a new concept, did better than expected on a test, or finally remembered to actually turn in their homework on time.
Think about when you got your student’s test scores or assessment results back. Even if they weren’t what you were hoping for or expecting, think about the moment of relief when you realized you had more concrete information to help with your advocacy.
Think about when you first subscribed to this newsletter. No, we’re not trying to be self-congratulatory! We’re pointing out that even something as simple as hitting “subscribe” on a new resource can be a win and forward motion on your advocacy goals. It might be a small act, but it is an act of investment in both you and your learner. It is an act of being in community with others, making your advocacy journey a little less isolating.
Two things can be true at once.
Hopefully, through some of the reflection in the first half of this issue you’ve been able to identify some points of growth and gratitude from this year. Hopefully, you can see the progress you and your learner have made this past year and are feeling good about that.
But feeling good about one thing does not mean you’re still not dealing with other emotions. You may still be frustrated, overwhelmed, discouraged, disappointed, depressed, or any other number of emotions.
Feeling positive in some areas and challenged in others does not negate any of your feelings. A lot of times, around the holidays, the focus is on joy and celebration almost exclusively. However, as humans, we contain multitudes. We can be proud of our accomplishments and feel discouraged. If you’re feeling a mix of emotions, that’s ok. It really is.
The point of this issue is not to get you to forget the difficult things you’re navigating. It is to help you reflect on how far you’ve come and to take a moment to celebrate, or at the very least appreciate that.
Sometimes, we feel like we can’t focus on the good things because something bad will happen. But, in some ways, that’s how life works. Bad things happen, good things happen, and then, they both happen some more, and some more, and some more.
It will not hurt or take away from your advocacy efforts if you recognize and even celebrate how far you and your learner have progressed in the last year—even if that progress is just maintaining the status quo, even if that progress is just surviving another year more or less intact.
Being a Gifted Guide is not glamorous work, but it is important work. It is good work. It is slow, careful, and thoughtful work. That work deserves to be acknowledged—even if that acknowledgement is just a deep sign of recognition as you read this.
(We also suggest getting yourself a treat that will make you smile, but you do whatever works for you. As always, take what you need and leave the rest!)
Conclusion
We see how hard you’re working, and it’s an honor to be in community with you as we all work to support the gifted and 2e learners in our lives. Remember, through the ups and downs of your advocacy work, you’re never alone. The Guiding Gifted and Davidson community are here to support you.
We'll wrap up our discussion of dysregulation season next month, by exploring what asynchronous joy can look like for your family.
Fall Testing Opportunities!
Through our partnership with Northwestern University’s Center for Talent Development, we are able to offer low cost, remote testing for students in grades 3-10.
This testing can be used to apply to the Davidson Institute’s Young Scholars program, along with the Davidson Academy, Reno and Davidson Academy Online.
Grades 3-5: The December 8 test date is still OPEN to registration. CLICK HERE to learn more and register.
Grades 6-10: All 2024 test sessions are full and closed to registration. CLICK HERE to join the 2025 testing waitlist. By joining the waitlist, you’ll be notified when 2025 testing dates open.
More Ways to Connect with Davidson...
If you’ll be at the NAGC Annual Convention next week, stop by Booth 208, and say hi to our Director of Outreach, Megan Cannella!
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We’ll see you next month. Stay well, Gifted Guides!